Screamin'

So, Plus One has started this screaming thing...He does it for various reasons and it though it can be entertaining, I am over it! It seems to be present and more frequent when he is tried, but it is not limited to those occasions. I am a little perplexed as to how to handle it. I know he uses it when he is frustrated and in those times, I go to him and try to help him communicate through whatever is freaking him out. For the other times I do not give him eye contact, nor do I speak to him until he stops. I have to admit there are times when I want to smack my hand over he little mouth. If anyone out there has suggestions, I would love to hear them.

I think while we lived in Oregon there were a couple of times that I worried about my peers for not seeming to have spirituality in their lives. It seemed like there was very little talk or concern for church and organized religion as a whole. What a difference movin' to Montana has made! Now I am the most liberal in the group of moms I hang with and I would love to have an event where religion and Christianity didn't come up. Maybe this is an example of how I am really never happy.

My parents got back today!! Yahooooo! I am so excited to have them stateside. My mom is my biggest cheerleader and I need her support and friendship.

I hope all is well for all you out there in blog-land.

Speaking of thinking too much...

I spend an hour each week in talk-therapy working on obtaining coping skills for adulthood. I often feel a bit ridiculous for having to have therapy to keep me forward thinking, when an outsider might look at my life and think I have it all. I have learned so much in what is approaching a 100 hours of talking, and I understand life is a journey and everything is a learning experience that helps shape us as people. I love my therapist, she is wonderful and compassionate and a bright spot in my life. For the coming week she suggested that I work on showing compassion for myself and my husband, as well as not having to know the meaning of life and the answers to the world's mysteries. I am basically a control-freak. And apparently it is common knowledge, but I am finding it easier said than done...the harder you try to control nearly everything to less control you actually have. I just sat in my car and cried at the prospect that I can and will be a happier person if I can "give it up" and just be. I exist in the front of my brain and I am thinking, thinking, thinking all the time, and not getting anywhere. Nine times out of ten the situation only gets worse after it has been rolling around in my brain for hours. Most currently I am all stirred up over the Christian based mom's group that I attend, and why? I don't get it. Why can't I just go and enjoy the parts that I find enjoyable and let the rest go? And when Tom snaps my head off because he is tired and had had a long day, why can't I show him compassion and just let it go? Instead I over-react and cry because he has hurt my feelings.

I will just be here trying with all I have to let it go...let all of it go.

Husbands and the FLU

Ugh! I am so glad the weekend is over and my husband is back at work. I love the man dearly, but really he has to be the worst sick person ever! He whines, and snaps, and moans, and is demanding with as attitude that makes me feel less than sympathetic. It is interesting to me, that if you feel like poop and you are at someone else's mercy for care that you would be such a grouch. And then again, is that unconditional love and it's me that is missing the point? I just don't think it is ever safe to treat people like crap.

I didn't feel very well either day this weekend, but had to care for both boys, so no whining for mommy. I was brainstorming ideas to get us through if I went down too. I finally concluded that I would just have to call Tom's mom to come down and take care of the baby. Let's just say I am thankful to be on the road to recovery.

It is beautiful outside today. Plus One and I will take a walk this afternoon with the girls (Loulou and Mimi, my doxies). My to do list is long today. I wanted to get some running around done while the babe is feeling good. Also, I have therapy tomorrow and that kind of throws the day.

I tested this morning and am not pregnant again this month. I am a little bummed, but then again, the due date would have been New Years Day. I think it would be tough to have a birthday that close to the holidays. We will just have to keep on trying. It's a little crazy to me that it is taking this long. It happened so fast the first time.

My parents are still out of the country and I am missing my mom like crazy. She is such a good friend and an important role in my life. It's always been one of my biggest fears to lose her, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that time will come and I will be ok. The things she has left me with make me strong.

Here I am...

Ms. Thinkin Too Much. Keeping a diary online seems risky, but I am ready for a change. I'm 29 years old, a wife and a mother of one. My baby, we'll call him "Plus One) (which is what we called him while I was preggers) is 10 months old and we just relocated to Montana. My husband is from Montana and I was raised in Wyoming, so it wasn't a complete culture shock. We moved from Portland, Oregon, so it was a bit like moving back in time. The pace is different and overall people are WAY more conservative, but I am happy to be raising our child in this part of the country. I am not working and therefore find my social life lacking while my husband is at work. Mr. Thinkin', is an Investment Banker for the same company my father works for as a stock broker in my hometown. My guys are into finance in a big way. I considered following them for a short time, but my passion is mothering and planning. Planning stock portfolios wasn't cutting it. So, currently I am planning (or putting together rather) a new mom's club for the area. I have spent the last year in MOPs (Mothers of Pre-schoolers), which is a Christian based organization, that I am needing a change from. I really enjoy the break from the babe, and the fellowship of the women, but this particular chapter meets in a fundamental church that my views are just too liberal for. I was raised as an Episcopalian and am currently attending a Catholic church, so I do consider myself a Christian. Blah, blah, blah. Long story short, I want to be involved the same type of organization minus the religious aspect...so I will create one.

So, that is my life in a blurp for today.